In Which More is Defined
by tough critic
Summary: Hold on, she's kissing James Potter? She doesn't hate James Potter? She thinks his hands are wonderful? Maybe it's time to reassess the situation... 3rd in series of 3. can be read alone.


disclaimer: i've only written 5 stories, and i'm already tired of this part. you all skip reading this by now anyway, so it's not mine. on to the good stuff!

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The feeling of James' hands in her hair far surpassed that of Michael's. And _his _hair, god was it soft. She marveled at how much she had been missing by not touching his hair every day. So many thoughts and feelings were going through Lily's head and it was surreal that James Potter was making her feel and think this way. _James Potter . . . and James Potter's wonderful lips . . . and James Potter's wonderful hands . . . and James Potter's wonderful--_

Hold it. _James Potter?!?_ Only days ago, she was completely content (_almost_) locking lips with Michael, and now?

Predictably, Lily jerked back. Well, it was predictable to her since she was kissing _James Potter_. He, on the other hand, looked confused and put off.

He drew closer to kiss her again, a short one this time, and then looked at her intensely.

"Lily? I, um, you know. . . I do love you."

Still lost in thought, Lily uttered most eloquently, "huh?"

Not really registering her mental battles, James continued, "and that kiss was . . . a-amazing. And I . . ."

Ignoring James completely, Lily began babbling, too. "You kissed me. Or, I kissed you. Or, I asked you to kiss me and _you_ kissed _me_ . . . and it was good. Wait . . . I mean, _why _did you kiss me . . . again?"

"You -- you said you wanted another kiss. You were crying and you looked a bloody mess, so I did - that - and . . . oh god, you're not going to cry again are you?"

The nerve. She wasn't a waterworks show for God's sake. "_No _James. Just give me a minute, okay? I'm processing."

Now James looked frustrated. Like he had gotten a taste of something he really wanted, but was being told he'd never taste it again. His faced seemed panicky.

"Processing _what?_ Why!? You said you liked me, loved me even!"

Lily let out a strangled, irritated noise. "Yeah, I said that, but . . . I like you? I _do _like you . . . I mean no, I don't. Be-because I more than like you. Or I thought do . . . did!"

She sighed. She could see how James would be confused. She barely knew, herself.

"I might love you," she asserted resolutely, looking him in the eye and nodding.

James' look of confusion was replaced by one of frustration. "Well that's great, Lily," he said sarcastically, "Except for the 'might' bit"

Well, _that_ didn't go as planned.

"Why are you being so difficult!?" Lily half-yelled.

James pulled farther away and stood up, running his hands through his hair. "Excuse me if I'm not bloody thrilled that you _might _love me. Especially after I told you I loved you...twice!"

"Well I'm sorry if my declaration wasn't quite how you pictured it. How do you think I'm taking all of this right now? Up until a few weeks ago, I thought I hated you!"

To Lily's bewilderment, James looked utterly shocked. In a small voice, quite unlike himself, he asked "Really?"

She looked up at him from her position on the floor. Unable to deal with a hurt James, she averted her eyes instead of confirming her previous statement.

After finding some strength in his voice, James trudged on.

"I always knew I annoyed you a little, but--but I never thought, never even _imagined_. . . It's just that. . . Wow . . . I didn't know. I guess I just assumed that since I loved you _so much . . . _so much that it kind of sucked, I--"

Much like that night days ago, James' eyes grew wide and his speech came to a sudden halt. He looked down. "Well there you go, I said it three times. I can't stop, even when you probably don't love _me_."

After a moment of awkward silence, James continued. "I always thought that if you loved someone this way, it wasn't possible they could feel so--so completely opposite the way you did."

He slumped down again, farther away from Lily than was normal for him, and that included the pre-four-second-kiss era.

Lily took note of his distance, and came close to tears again. She really was an awful girl. She couldn't grasp what James saw in her, especially since she had a habit of dragging his heart around. Of course she didn't _know_ that it was his _heart _that she was dragging, but she should have. Perhaps her view of herself was what prevented her from understanding what James' intentions were. How could anyone she treated so horribly _love _her? She had assumed James' persuit of her, despite her apparent hatred, was a display of big-headed, arrogant determination. . . not love. And it dawned on her that, had she known this, she would have given in long ago.

Lily's head was spinning. "Oh. Yeah, okay. . . um . . . " Great, she was choking up again. When did she become so emotional?

"Lily I need you to love me. I do. Because if you don't, nothing makes sense. . . You kissing me doesn't make sense and you breaking up with Michael doesn't make sense, and . . . and _I _don't make any sense." Even James looked close to tears.

In the blink of an eye, he was in front of her again, just like he was before he kissed her. He held her head in his hands and directed her to look at him.

"Please, Lily. _Please_."

Now she was all choked up. "Okay"

"What?"

She gave a watery smile at the familiarity of it. "I said, okay."

So she tugged him closer by his shirt and kissed him. When she pulled away, a little too quickly for James' liking, it was only to pull off his glasses. When he captured her lips again, he was so eager that he made the two of them stumble onto the floor until James' arms were around Lily's waist and she was on top of him, holding onto his shoulders.

She chuckled, a little more brightly this time, and ducked her head for another kiss. However, James dodged her lips by looking to the side. Lily gave him a questioning look.

"Can . . . can you say it?" James asked timidly.

"That I love you?"

He gave her a quick peck. "Yeah," he whispered in a daze.

"I love you," she whispered back. He kissed her again, both of them horizontal and holding onto each other tightly.

"Again."

"I _love_ you," Lily stated more firmly. A third declaration to match his. Then came another kiss, Lily with her hands in James' hair, reveling in the feeling of his arms around her.

She smiled into his mouth.

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thank you all very much. I apologize that three were posted separately. Had I known I'd continue it like this, I would have put them all in one place.

reviews and constructive criticism appreciated.


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